Due Date

To our sweet little baby boy in heaven,

Axl, today is the day you were due August 31, 2015. This was supposed to be one of the happiest days of our life. Our sweet little angel, you were supposed to come home with mommy and daddy today. However, that is not the case. You are now in heaven looking over us and watching mommy and daddy live life without you, it has been a hard 22 weeks without you. There are times I walk into your room with all of your things and just wonder about what you are doing up there in heaven. I look at the pack n’ play, bassinet, stroller, car seat, high chair, diapers, and baby clothes that are sitting in that room all unused. It is hard to know that you will never get to use them either. I look at your daddy when he is with your cousin Aubree and I just think about how he would have been with you. I think about him being an amazing father like he is an amazing uncle. Though your daddy is still an amazing father with you up there in heaven, there is not a time that goes by that he doesn’t have you with him in some way possible. We think about you often, love you everyday, and hope you were greeted by loving family members when you went to heaven.  It is hard watching all the firsts that you will miss with us. You will miss your first in every way possible, first bath, first word, first step, first birthday, first holiday. I sit back and watch others achieving their firsts and I am only able to think about how you will never get that. I hope you are able to achieve these things in heaven with your loved ones up there watching you grow. As today comes and goes it will be a bittersweet day, I am sad that I do not have you with me but I know that you were here for a short time because you were meant to make a difference somewhere, whether it is me writing about it, or you having to be in heaven I know it happened for a reason. We love you Axl and we know you are doing great things. We can’t wait to meet you in heaven one day and we hope you continue to watch over us and hopefully will be able to watch your siblings grow one day. We will never let your memories fade away as you will always be a part of our family.